9.25.12
Life is all about balance. I forget this all the time. I find myself holding on to grudges, feeling guilty, having negative thoughts, and worrying about things I cannot control. Other times I realize that I'm not following the path that I believe to be correct, I become lazy, I become selfish, I feel entitled to breaks, and like I earned things that I have not. All of these things come from a loss of balance. I don't hold on to the positive, and I hold on to the negative.
Bad things happen all the time. I know I cannot stop bad things from happening, and I need to learn to adjust to them and learn from them. I need to appreciate the challenges that life presents. I need to learn to appreciate the people in my life. I need to learn to let go of my cell phone. I need to learn to stop going on the internet when I'm bored.
I look at my computer screen 80% of the day because I'm in school. I often find myself distracted by Facebook or other BS websites where I'm just wasting time. I'm not connecting to people or using the sites in a positive way. I feel as though by doing this I'm wasting potential opportunities. I'm missing out on relationships. I'm cheating myself of an education. I'm cheating others of being the best possible servant I can be.
Constructive ways to change:
1. Don't answer the phone or text when you're having an in person conversation
2. turn off the internet when you have all the documents you need in text or on the hard drive
3. when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts consciously turn your mind to something positive
4. Hold yourself more accountable (get things done early, make good habits, eliminate poor habits)
5. Plan days of rest and time for others
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Bad Days
9.19.12
Today was not a great day. Nothing terrible happened, I just feel like nothing went well. Lecture was not engaging, I couldn't focus, I either have a heat rash or MRSA on the back of my knee, at mentoring club I didn't feel engaged, and I got my ass beat at jiu jitsu. Days like today are where I need to work on myself the most. I need to do the best I can and push myself when I don't feel like I can go further.
I often find myself on days like to today being disengaged and not present. I need to work on investing and appreciating the time that I'm given. I need to look at my situations as opportunities. Living in the moment is one thing in which I fail. On days like today I'm anxious about things to come, getting studying in, and getting all my tasks down. I need to do a better job planning and going with the flow. If I'm bored I need to engage others to engage myself. I need to appreciate days that test me like this and do everything to the best of my ability.
Work out:
Bench: up to 295x8, incline bench up to 245x5, pull ups, band pull aparts, chest supported rows, push ups, TRX rows, tris, curls
Vigilance and Virtue, God bless
DF
Today was not a great day. Nothing terrible happened, I just feel like nothing went well. Lecture was not engaging, I couldn't focus, I either have a heat rash or MRSA on the back of my knee, at mentoring club I didn't feel engaged, and I got my ass beat at jiu jitsu. Days like today are where I need to work on myself the most. I need to do the best I can and push myself when I don't feel like I can go further.
I often find myself on days like to today being disengaged and not present. I need to work on investing and appreciating the time that I'm given. I need to look at my situations as opportunities. Living in the moment is one thing in which I fail. On days like today I'm anxious about things to come, getting studying in, and getting all my tasks down. I need to do a better job planning and going with the flow. If I'm bored I need to engage others to engage myself. I need to appreciate days that test me like this and do everything to the best of my ability.
Work out:
Bench: up to 295x8, incline bench up to 245x5, pull ups, band pull aparts, chest supported rows, push ups, TRX rows, tris, curls
Vigilance and Virtue, God bless
DF
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Being Genuine
9.18.12
I was mixed on whether or not I was going to continue this. I have a training log on t-nation.com that I've
been updating for close to a year now and I still do the journal. Just for Beth, B-Foss, I'll keep this going.
Highlights from the week
- Started smolov a higher intensity and higher volume squat program, I'm pretty sore
- Went to head of state barber shop, unintentionally got a guido haircut
- Had my cardiology final and did alright, I'm glad we're changing systems
-In football news, the Buckeyes almost gave me a heart attack while studying for cardio, went 2-0 in fantasy and I still don't know what I'm doing, and my high school is 4-0
- Diet has been very poor, started cleaning it up again today
- I've been eating lots of asparagus and I like the way it makes your pee smell
- My boo is coming out to visit on Thursday
Thoughts:
Today in the news Mitt Romney was being attacked for some comments he made. I'll start by saying I'm not a Mitt fan, I currently consider myself a libertarian, but I don't see myself voting for a democrat ever because I hate big government and regulation. Anyway, the republicans in the last two elections have had two fairly liberal/moderate republicans run as their presidential candidate. John McCain and Mitt Romney. As soon as both of them decided to run for president they "modified" their views to fit the party platform. Not genuine, very annoying, and not manly. Stick to what you believe in and follow what you truly believe is the best course for the country.
To my point, I have to say I'm impressed with Mitt for not apologizing or taking back his statements. Even though the statements were not accurate, I really do think he believed in what he was saying. He was candid to a small group of donors. I wish he and other politicians were more candid with their perceptions at all times. Be genuine. The polarization created by being a political puppet is a waste and it creates unnecessary tension between the citizens of the country.
Part of this masking of beliefs is probably a result of our society's new found infatuation with pointing the finger and criticizing other people for any and everything. I think we'd all be better off if we looked at ourselves and figured out how to make ourselves better. Do I fall into this category? Hell yeah. It's a constant battle that I try to work with every day. However, I do constantly try to honestly evaluate myself and determine ways to correct my weaknesses.
Things I know I struggle with: focus, patience, lust, humility, insecurity, comfort/complacency, unnecessary criticism of others, being cynical, envy, lying, stealing, and probably an infinite amount more. I realize my weakness and that I believe is what allows me to constantly strive to be better. I have an accountability partner in my girlfriend who I talk with about goals and we push one another.
We all need to realize that we are entitled to our opinions, we should test them constantly, it's ok if they change, and we probably will never have all the answers. We need to remain skeptical of just about everything. Test it. Don't get caught listening to someone you respect or admire, then regurgitate everything they say. I still struggle with this. I will accept a fact from someone, whether a teacher or a mentor, without having thought about it. I need to work on developing a questioning mind.
Realize statistics are just statistics. They are not facts. As Plato said, "a good decision is based on knowledge and not on numbers."
Sorry scattered again. I'll work on consistency.
I was mixed on whether or not I was going to continue this. I have a training log on t-nation.com that I've
been updating for close to a year now and I still do the journal. Just for Beth, B-Foss, I'll keep this going.
Highlights from the week
- Started smolov a higher intensity and higher volume squat program, I'm pretty sore
- Went to head of state barber shop, unintentionally got a guido haircut
- Had my cardiology final and did alright, I'm glad we're changing systems
-In football news, the Buckeyes almost gave me a heart attack while studying for cardio, went 2-0 in fantasy and I still don't know what I'm doing, and my high school is 4-0
- Diet has been very poor, started cleaning it up again today
- I've been eating lots of asparagus and I like the way it makes your pee smell
- My boo is coming out to visit on Thursday
Thoughts:
Today in the news Mitt Romney was being attacked for some comments he made. I'll start by saying I'm not a Mitt fan, I currently consider myself a libertarian, but I don't see myself voting for a democrat ever because I hate big government and regulation. Anyway, the republicans in the last two elections have had two fairly liberal/moderate republicans run as their presidential candidate. John McCain and Mitt Romney. As soon as both of them decided to run for president they "modified" their views to fit the party platform. Not genuine, very annoying, and not manly. Stick to what you believe in and follow what you truly believe is the best course for the country.
To my point, I have to say I'm impressed with Mitt for not apologizing or taking back his statements. Even though the statements were not accurate, I really do think he believed in what he was saying. He was candid to a small group of donors. I wish he and other politicians were more candid with their perceptions at all times. Be genuine. The polarization created by being a political puppet is a waste and it creates unnecessary tension between the citizens of the country.
Part of this masking of beliefs is probably a result of our society's new found infatuation with pointing the finger and criticizing other people for any and everything. I think we'd all be better off if we looked at ourselves and figured out how to make ourselves better. Do I fall into this category? Hell yeah. It's a constant battle that I try to work with every day. However, I do constantly try to honestly evaluate myself and determine ways to correct my weaknesses.
Things I know I struggle with: focus, patience, lust, humility, insecurity, comfort/complacency, unnecessary criticism of others, being cynical, envy, lying, stealing, and probably an infinite amount more. I realize my weakness and that I believe is what allows me to constantly strive to be better. I have an accountability partner in my girlfriend who I talk with about goals and we push one another.
We all need to realize that we are entitled to our opinions, we should test them constantly, it's ok if they change, and we probably will never have all the answers. We need to remain skeptical of just about everything. Test it. Don't get caught listening to someone you respect or admire, then regurgitate everything they say. I still struggle with this. I will accept a fact from someone, whether a teacher or a mentor, without having thought about it. I need to work on developing a questioning mind.
Realize statistics are just statistics. They are not facts. As Plato said, "a good decision is based on knowledge and not on numbers."
Sorry scattered again. I'll work on consistency.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
The Process
9.11.12
Today has not been my best day. I didn't wake up when I wanted, during lecture I was unfocused, we had 8 hours of lecture mostly on pharm (my worst subject), and I trained while drained after class and did not have the best workout.
I have two options right now. I can call it quits and go to bed. Or I can put in a couple more hours of studying before I go to bed. I'm going to study to the best of my ability for as long as I can. I've found for myself, if I get out of my routine it's incredibly difficult to get back on track. This blog I put off yesterday and that was a mistake. I should have got in and written a post even if it was 1 sentence. The little things in life matter. Perception matters, small acts of kindness matter, small conversation matters, saying hello matters, smiling matters, reading every article matters, and every breath you take matters.
The thing I've always had trouble with is planning and executing on the plans I've made. This is not the most efficient method. It allows me to procrastinate and eliminates a lot of self evaluation. By planning are able to get more out of your day. I believe this leads to happiness. Once you start planning out your days you need to remain flexible. I've had a million experiences when I get frustrated about things I cannot control. I'm furious when someone is inconsiderate, professors keep me after our lunch break, or I'm late for something. I need to learn to let it go. I get so caught up in the moment and I don't take a step back and look at where I really am. I get over critical of myself and others.
I know everything comes down to balance. Balance my time, balance my work, play, rest and prayer. By balancing those things and taking life as it is I know I'll be a lot happier. Everything matters, do the little things.
Sorry this post was not linear. God bless, V&V
Today has not been my best day. I didn't wake up when I wanted, during lecture I was unfocused, we had 8 hours of lecture mostly on pharm (my worst subject), and I trained while drained after class and did not have the best workout.
I have two options right now. I can call it quits and go to bed. Or I can put in a couple more hours of studying before I go to bed. I'm going to study to the best of my ability for as long as I can. I've found for myself, if I get out of my routine it's incredibly difficult to get back on track. This blog I put off yesterday and that was a mistake. I should have got in and written a post even if it was 1 sentence. The little things in life matter. Perception matters, small acts of kindness matter, small conversation matters, saying hello matters, smiling matters, reading every article matters, and every breath you take matters.
The thing I've always had trouble with is planning and executing on the plans I've made. This is not the most efficient method. It allows me to procrastinate and eliminates a lot of self evaluation. By planning are able to get more out of your day. I believe this leads to happiness. Once you start planning out your days you need to remain flexible. I've had a million experiences when I get frustrated about things I cannot control. I'm furious when someone is inconsiderate, professors keep me after our lunch break, or I'm late for something. I need to learn to let it go. I get so caught up in the moment and I don't take a step back and look at where I really am. I get over critical of myself and others.
I know everything comes down to balance. Balance my time, balance my work, play, rest and prayer. By balancing those things and taking life as it is I know I'll be a lot happier. Everything matters, do the little things.
Sorry this post was not linear. God bless, V&V
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Long Processes
9.6.12
Thoughts on the day:
Today had it's ups and downs. We got out of class a little early which I really liked. Then I had to deal with the Army. I'm going through the process of joining the Medical Army Reserves. So far it has not been an ideal process. Everything has been moving incredibly slow and I have a deadline to get my paper work and physical done by October 1st. They told me today that I have a lot more to do so I had to put a lot of time into doing tedious things for that process. It sucks when you try to do something with fairly good intentions and the process is more difficult than expected. I need to stay positive and just get the things they ask for done as efficiently and quickly as possible.
Jiu Jitsu went well tonight we were going over knee on belly techniques. From this we were working on advancing to mount and switching into an arm bar. It's pretty early and I'm exhausted from the day. I can barely keep my eyes open while reading. I'm going to try to make it though a couple more lectures then call it a night.
Diet:
3 eggs over easy, toast, chia
4 hot dogs, peas, apple
burger, pretzels, and fries for a snack (poor food choices today)
ribs and peas for dinner
God bless, V&V
DF
Thoughts on the day:
Today had it's ups and downs. We got out of class a little early which I really liked. Then I had to deal with the Army. I'm going through the process of joining the Medical Army Reserves. So far it has not been an ideal process. Everything has been moving incredibly slow and I have a deadline to get my paper work and physical done by October 1st. They told me today that I have a lot more to do so I had to put a lot of time into doing tedious things for that process. It sucks when you try to do something with fairly good intentions and the process is more difficult than expected. I need to stay positive and just get the things they ask for done as efficiently and quickly as possible.
Jiu Jitsu went well tonight we were going over knee on belly techniques. From this we were working on advancing to mount and switching into an arm bar. It's pretty early and I'm exhausted from the day. I can barely keep my eyes open while reading. I'm going to try to make it though a couple more lectures then call it a night.
Diet:
3 eggs over easy, toast, chia
4 hot dogs, peas, apple
burger, pretzels, and fries for a snack (poor food choices today)
ribs and peas for dinner
God bless, V&V
DF
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Being Happy
9.5.12
Thought:
I think everybody is trying to maximize their happiness in one way or another. A huge proportion of our society, American, is completely focused on money and themselves from a material perspective. We don't appreciate who we are and what we have been given. We don't appreciate basic things. It's interesting that most divorces now are based on money issues. I wish the focus was more on building character, appreciating other people for who they are, and appreciating the journey. I know all of this is pretty idealistic, but I just feel as though we've lost our way. I think we need to reevaluate our value of life and of the gifts we have been given. It's easy to take things for granted and to get overwhelmed. We should focus on living in the present and being at peace. I really need to work on that. There's a lot of time where I live in the past and focus on a grudge I have or instead of looking to improve on past mistakes I linger on them. And being in school I have a ton of anxiety for the future and future success. I need to work on what I can control and what I can control is now. The first step I wan to take is to smile more and to acknowledge people. It's easy to put my head down and just walk by people. I need to work on smiling at people, saying hello, and ask them how they're doing. I believe that happiness comes from the journey in maximizing your potential in all aspects in life. I believe that you should follow your interests and give back when ever the opportunity presents itself. I hope I can start following this.
I've loved going to mentoring club today and playing with the kids. I miss seeing younger kids. I didn't really see them in college or last year. It's nice getting to hang out with them and seeing how they act. I feel like I get to act like them as well.
Work outs today:
Lift: Bench up to 325x4, DB incline w/ fat grips 75x18, DB row w/ FGs 75x10, band pull aparts, curls, push downs, serrano press
Jiu Jitsu: rolled for about 45 minutes. Showed up a little late after mentor club
God bless, V&V
DF
Thought:
I think everybody is trying to maximize their happiness in one way or another. A huge proportion of our society, American, is completely focused on money and themselves from a material perspective. We don't appreciate who we are and what we have been given. We don't appreciate basic things. It's interesting that most divorces now are based on money issues. I wish the focus was more on building character, appreciating other people for who they are, and appreciating the journey. I know all of this is pretty idealistic, but I just feel as though we've lost our way. I think we need to reevaluate our value of life and of the gifts we have been given. It's easy to take things for granted and to get overwhelmed. We should focus on living in the present and being at peace. I really need to work on that. There's a lot of time where I live in the past and focus on a grudge I have or instead of looking to improve on past mistakes I linger on them. And being in school I have a ton of anxiety for the future and future success. I need to work on what I can control and what I can control is now. The first step I wan to take is to smile more and to acknowledge people. It's easy to put my head down and just walk by people. I need to work on smiling at people, saying hello, and ask them how they're doing. I believe that happiness comes from the journey in maximizing your potential in all aspects in life. I believe that you should follow your interests and give back when ever the opportunity presents itself. I hope I can start following this.
I've loved going to mentoring club today and playing with the kids. I miss seeing younger kids. I didn't really see them in college or last year. It's nice getting to hang out with them and seeing how they act. I feel like I get to act like them as well.
Work outs today:
Lift: Bench up to 325x4, DB incline w/ fat grips 75x18, DB row w/ FGs 75x10, band pull aparts, curls, push downs, serrano press
Jiu Jitsu: rolled for about 45 minutes. Showed up a little late after mentor club
God bless, V&V
DF
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
9.4.12
Thoughts:
Today was an alright day. We had class until 5PM and that pretty much drained me. I only got through one lecture before I worked out at 7PM. After my workout I had trouble studying again. I need to work on focusing and being efficient. I feel like I'm wasting a lot of time on BS websites. I think it's smart to develop a morning and evening routine. I'm debating whether or not to go to bible study tomorrow. Last year I didn't have a good experience with it. I like having something in addition to church to push me spiritually, but I don't feel as though bible study did that last year. I did a little bit better job putting things back in their place today. I need to keep that up. In class we learned about valve disease and syncope.
High: workout
Low: lack of focus throughout the day
Goals: I didn't reach my goals today. I wanted to wake up and do some review and I got lazy. I would like to do that at least 3x a week, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Need to focus more on conversations I'm having with people. I need to not worry about other things and focus on the present.
Meals:
Breakfast- 4 eggs, ham, chia seeds, water
Lunch: 3 brats no bun, broccoli, grapes
Snack: pork chop
Dinner: beef, broccoli, grapes
Workout:
Cleans worked up to 265x3, Squats up to 385x9, RDL off rack, lunges, abs, KB swing, Incline treadmill walk
Today was an alright day. We had class until 5PM and that pretty much drained me. I only got through one lecture before I worked out at 7PM. After my workout I had trouble studying again. I need to work on focusing and being efficient. I feel like I'm wasting a lot of time on BS websites. I think it's smart to develop a morning and evening routine. I'm debating whether or not to go to bible study tomorrow. Last year I didn't have a good experience with it. I like having something in addition to church to push me spiritually, but I don't feel as though bible study did that last year. I did a little bit better job putting things back in their place today. I need to keep that up. In class we learned about valve disease and syncope.
High: workout
Low: lack of focus throughout the day
Goals: I didn't reach my goals today. I wanted to wake up and do some review and I got lazy. I would like to do that at least 3x a week, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Need to focus more on conversations I'm having with people. I need to not worry about other things and focus on the present.
Meals:
Breakfast- 4 eggs, ham, chia seeds, water
Lunch: 3 brats no bun, broccoli, grapes
Snack: pork chop
Dinner: beef, broccoli, grapes
Workout:
Cleans worked up to 265x3, Squats up to 385x9, RDL off rack, lunges, abs, KB swing, Incline treadmill walk
Monday, September 3, 2012
The Start of Something New
9.3.12
I started reading the Art of Manliness and from this it inspired me to write my own blog. This is just where I'll be posting my thoughts, stories from my life, workouts I'm doing, my diet for the day, and quotes that I like. I'm going to try to update this daily. I just would like to put my thoughts down and see where this goes.
About myself: I'm a second year medical student. My current hobbies include strength training, powerlifting, jiu jitsu, nutrition, investigating my spirituality, and reading. I've been in a relationship for about two and a half years, so I'll be posting some thoughts on that as well. I was raised in Columbus, Ohio and I currently am living in Pennsylvania.
Thought: Lessons from your Parents
About two years ago my home church announced they were going to have a guest speaker. They claimed the topic would be about letting things go from your past. At the time I was struggling with holding a grudge and being unable to let certain things go. This destroyed my ability to trust others and was hampering my relationship with my girlfriend. I went to the speaker and his topic was not on letting go of grudges, but on evaluating your relationship with your parents. He claimed that often you will remember one main lesson from your parents and this caused me to think about what lesson I learned from mine.
The first person I thought about was my dad. His was, "Someone will always have it worse off than you." My dad is one of the most self-less persons I've ever met in my life. He lives to support my family and to help other people. I don't think he used to say this to make me feel like I have no problems. I think he was just trying to make sure that I stayed positive and thankful. I believe this is one of the most important mindsets to have. To look on the brighter side and give humanity the opportunity to surprise you.
My mother's was, "You are never good enough." This thought process is definitely ingrained in me. I would say that I still struggle with this because if you don't look at this statement as motivation it becomes easy to become overly critical of yourself. You forget the gifts you've been given, it can lead to depression, and a sense of hopelessness. I've felt like this many times throughout my life. I believe just by changing this statement to "always strive to reach your potential" or "Keep an open mind" or "there is always something else to learn or improve upon" would be a much better lesson than the one I was given.
I hope that I am able to positively push my future children. I hope that they know that I love them, and I hope I can be a positive influence on their lives.
God bless, vigilance
DF
I started reading the Art of Manliness and from this it inspired me to write my own blog. This is just where I'll be posting my thoughts, stories from my life, workouts I'm doing, my diet for the day, and quotes that I like. I'm going to try to update this daily. I just would like to put my thoughts down and see where this goes.
About myself: I'm a second year medical student. My current hobbies include strength training, powerlifting, jiu jitsu, nutrition, investigating my spirituality, and reading. I've been in a relationship for about two and a half years, so I'll be posting some thoughts on that as well. I was raised in Columbus, Ohio and I currently am living in Pennsylvania.
Thought: Lessons from your Parents
About two years ago my home church announced they were going to have a guest speaker. They claimed the topic would be about letting things go from your past. At the time I was struggling with holding a grudge and being unable to let certain things go. This destroyed my ability to trust others and was hampering my relationship with my girlfriend. I went to the speaker and his topic was not on letting go of grudges, but on evaluating your relationship with your parents. He claimed that often you will remember one main lesson from your parents and this caused me to think about what lesson I learned from mine.
The first person I thought about was my dad. His was, "Someone will always have it worse off than you." My dad is one of the most self-less persons I've ever met in my life. He lives to support my family and to help other people. I don't think he used to say this to make me feel like I have no problems. I think he was just trying to make sure that I stayed positive and thankful. I believe this is one of the most important mindsets to have. To look on the brighter side and give humanity the opportunity to surprise you.
My mother's was, "You are never good enough." This thought process is definitely ingrained in me. I would say that I still struggle with this because if you don't look at this statement as motivation it becomes easy to become overly critical of yourself. You forget the gifts you've been given, it can lead to depression, and a sense of hopelessness. I've felt like this many times throughout my life. I believe just by changing this statement to "always strive to reach your potential" or "Keep an open mind" or "there is always something else to learn or improve upon" would be a much better lesson than the one I was given.
I hope that I am able to positively push my future children. I hope that they know that I love them, and I hope I can be a positive influence on their lives.
God bless, vigilance
DF
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)